Dear Wind,
Thank you so much for your overnight gift of a trampoline! If it were not for the fact that we already have a trampoline, I might have been fairly excited about it. However, I do have a trampoline and besides the one you gave me wouldn't have worked out. No, it's not the fact that you barrelled it through our grill, smashing it into pieces, or bending the fence. Though the trampoline is now mangled, that is not the reason either. What really gets to me is that you took it through my beloved vegetable garden and annihilated my tomato plants! My big beautiful tomato plants that I just couldn't wait to eat a big juicy tomato from! So I will have to reject your gift and I ask that you please take it to someone else!
Til your next gift (bc I'm sure there will be one),
Candra
Dear Owners of said Mangled Trampoline,
Just in case you are new to West Texas and need a clue, I will help you out! When you live in a new addition in which it is mostly wide open, you have to SECURE things so you don't lose them. I'm sure your kids are upset about the loss of their trampoline but I'm afraid you are going to have to get a new one. Though it is possible to salvage most of this one, you would 
have to look for a while to find all the missing springs and legs that have been strung along the street and neighboring yards. That being said, please come get it from my yard! It is a lovely decoration next to the weeds but I'm afraid it has to go.
have to look for a while to find all the missing springs and legs that have been strung along the street and neighboring yards. That being said, please come get it from my yard! It is a lovely decoration next to the weeds but I'm afraid it has to go. Thanks in advance,
Your thoughtful neighbor
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